I want to start this off by saying friends with your ex does not mean best friends with your ex. I think this is important because at some point one of you will move on and being best friends with your ex has the potential to ruin a new relationship for either of you and squash any friendship.
Now being friends with your ex is probably never going to be easy and DEFINITELY not straight away. This is why I believe that before trying to be friends with your ex you must take time apart (like a decent amount of time apart… like not just the couple of weeks that we all seem to think will be enough time) and then once you think you’re over them wait a while more if you actually want a friendship to happen. Do not use building up a friendship as a way of getting over someone because that isn’t getting over someone.
I know it can be hard. You have lost the person you told everything to and potentially one of your best friends but it is important to remind yourself that the break up happened for a reason.
I then believe the next step in building up a friendship is acknowledging that the past happened whether it be through an apology or a thought to yourself and then leaving the past in the past. This is an important step in moving forward.
Then be friends with the guy/girl to the extent you are friends with other guys/girls or to the extent to which you’re comfortable with. Like I said at the start. Being friends doesn’t mean spending as much time together as you would have in the past. It doesnt mean jumping into date like situations. It means friends. That boundary can be so important if you want it to work.
Shoutout to the ex who inspired this post. Bumping into you today made me realise how lucky we both are to have not thrown away our friendship.
Cait xx
Caitlyn Farrar 